The One He Fights For

Another Video that i just has to share form another mil-spouse blog. Enjoy <3>

PoOkIe

Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?

LiFe sTory

Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Recently life as I knew it was not as I knew it. I thought it was over and all I wanted to do was crawl up in a ball and never wake up but in the end theres always a reason to why things happen. I know I keep repeating myself... but the lesson I learned was a major one. At the age of 23 i've been trough the usual motions of lie, but more than your average girl my age should. Friends and Foes are all alike and no one is truly who they seem. There is no true reason to doubt ones self. Just wake up and move on. Try to forget and embrace what life has given you. You might not think so right that second but the harder they kick you down the faster you get up to laugh in their face.

LiVe n BReaTH

Day 24: Make a play list to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

TBA

Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Every single person in my life is reason I'm alive today. Even if someone was in my life for a second they made an impact some way or another. They either taught me about myself, about them, or about life. Friend or foe many people have pushed me to be a better person or have challenged me to push myself beyond my actual potential. I think the person who has pushed me the furthest is my husband. He gives me a reason to live. He pushes me beyond any limited anyone has. Good or bad happy or sad he is the reason I wake up and go about my day.

Baby ITs Cold Out Side

Well, today was filled with snow, snow and more snow... It's amazing how one day the sun can be shining bright and the next day it could look like this..

Shot taken from O's house.

I woke up around 3:30 to shovel the back yard just to be able to let the dog's out... Finally after an hour of moving snow out of the way the dog's went out for some fun in the snow and to do their business. I feel right to sleep and woke up to O's voice. I was lucky I had no work today even tough I was planning on going in to clean up some of the damage I cause over the week. I have just a few day to get everything ready so it looks like a week full of overtime for me.

I finally got something to wear for a spacial occasion coming up and I'm very pleased by it. Even the price tag was a plus. I really wanted a Nicole Richie Winter Kate Dress for this special day but I find this dress more appropriate and actually a lot nicer . Plus now I will be getting a Michael Kors bag from my mother which is a plus yay!

Well, anyway I stumbled across this video on another Mil-Spouse's blog thought i'd share it with you girls. I know ya'll will definitely appreciate it.

Deck The HAlLs

Well Christmas was fun. Even with O gone I tried to make the best of it. Even the dogs got into the Christmas spirit.

Harlem and Brooklyn Playing with their toys

The morning began with my grandparents coming to the door with presents at hand. It was nice to experience Christmas like I did when I was a kid. My parents exchanged gifts with us and then we were off to breakfast at my cousins house. Before we left I was able to talk to O for a second on Skype but the water works came down. On day like yesterday I miss him even more.

Well we had an amazing time at my little cousins house. We opened up all our gifts and O was able to watch for a while. It was kinda like her was there. Thank God for Skype. We all laughed and enjoyed each others company. Before you knew it was night time.

My cousins house at night

After all the excitement was over the kids and I decided to play with the web cam and take some silly pictures.

Overall Christmas was bitter sweet. O got me a coach wallet and a Longchamp bag which, I absolutely loved. I can wait to rock it on R&R. I'm getting ready for a long 2 weeks with my love slowly. I have all his clothes washed and ready now all i have to do is get some new shirts for him and maybe some other peaces for winter. With the weather getting colder he defiantly going to need something warmer than ACU's.

I cant tell you how excited I am and how fast it's coming. I need to get the cars detailed and checked and a few beauty appointments. Just a few more days to go ill keep ya'll updated ;).

O LiFes A BEaCh

Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.

Something I wish I had done in life would probably be doing better in school. Right now I'm in limbo with my BA in English. I want to grad school but I need to take m GRE and I feel like my grade aren't good enough to get me into a good program. I wish I didn't focus so much n the people who surrounded me and actually applied myself to the things I needed to. But I cant change my GPA but I can get a new one. I can't wait to start on ,y second B.A. in nursing soon.

PlEase DonT Go

Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Well I would probably run to her side. No matter how many times Lisa and I argue and disagree on something no matter the measures there is nothing I wouldn't do for the girl. There is a quote from Grey's Anatomy that Meridith said about Christina " Derek is the love of my life, but you are my soul mate". I apply that to our relationship. Lisa and I have been through so many life experiences I cant see my self going through anything without her by my side. I would die if she died and I know she feels the same way.

Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

I wish I hadn't been so careless in the past. I think I have a good intentions sometimes but never follow through. I have lost alot of things and wish I hadn't. There are things I wish did that I haven't or hadn't done. But I don't regret not or doing them, things just didn't go as planed I can except that.

mmmmm

Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.

I believe everything is a drug. Once your addicted to something what ever it may be it takes over your senses and drives you to do what it is meant to do. If one chooses to mess up their life with either substance it is their responsibility to gain control for their own lives.

HmmMm ?

Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

My husband works in a field where politics are the reason he dose what he dose and we live the life we live. As for religion... I believe faith is necessary. All religions have the same focus there is a Savor and he is there to guide us in life. I believe that there is a God and he watches over my husband and listens to my prayers. One day I might meet him or maybe I wont. But that is for him to choose not me.

LoVe TraIn

Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.

I believe when two people are in love and are in a well rounded working relationship it should not matter on their sexual orientations. No one should tell someone else it is wrong to love someone or live the way they chose. Marriage is a commitment to another person for life and who am I to tell someone they cannot love another individual for as long as they please?

I

ReaD Me

Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

A book that has changed my views on something is Delta Force. Delta force is a book about the infamous special forces unite which us classified as unknown. The topic is covered by several shows such as The Unit and Army Wives. Written by one of the 1st members for this special operation its gives incite on what the real army is like without dramatizing it. It made me understand why my husband has ambitions on becoming an Army Ranger and going into special forces himself. I hope one day as dangerous as it he can accomplish all his goal which he has for his carrier.

SunShinE

Day 15: Something or someone you couldn't’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

This one is an easy one.. My husband is someone I cannot live without. Even during this deployment I cant get enough of this man. I've learn to go on with my daily life here in NY without O and its been hard but speaking to him almost everyday has made it easier. Even without ups and downs and our in's and outs I cant picture my life without him. He's made some mistakes and I've made mine but together we make magic. Even when we are apart there's no one I rather be with than him. He makes my heart flutter and skip a few beats and makes me smile when I'm sad. There is something indescribable when I think of him. It's silly but he's my best friend, husband and teacher. He brings the best and the worst out of me, and with each day my love for him grows stronger.

Pain ..

Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

An artist that has gotten me through some tough as day... no one on a tough ass day I sleep. I like music but i don't indulge myself into it when I'm down i rater sleep it off and pray when i wake up everything is alright. :(

Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)

A hero that has let me down would probably be _______. I never though somethings are possible but they are, but not possible in a good way though. When you'r a little girl you plan your life out and dream for the best never expect the worst. My hero is someone close to my heart but has let me down in a major way. They never gave me a chance to make things better before they got worst and never saved me from myself.

Dear Hero,

I write you this letter to let you know I still love you and will never let you go from my heart. I need you to save me and fix what you have done. You are supposed to last forever. But no life is a fairy tale. The thought of you makes my heart hurt and flutter. You make me wana scream and cry. You did this to me and I don't know why. Now I'm hear all alone left to die.

Why did you leave hero, why did you have to go. How can you save the world when you can't even save me 1st. I was suppose to be number one, but you lied. You just left me to die. I slowly start to get back up but the memory of you keeps me down. When will you come and puck me off this grown you made for me.? When will I see light again?

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

~Greys Anatomy

Rare Compliments

Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.

I cant think of anything I don't get complements on because I don't take complements well, but one thing I never hear is thank you. I never am told thank you from I thing anyone I deal with on a daily basis. I think everyone is just so accustom of me being there and never think to say thank you.

LoST in The WoRld

Well its been a while since I've actually blogged :( so here's what's been going on... Life is getting back to normal, well as normal as its going to get. I'm slowly getting to a state where things which were bothering aren't bothering me as much as it did. before. O is hitting his 5th month in his deployment and I can taste R & R already. I actually had a friend in from Iraq this past weekend. Our friend from fort hood decided to pass by ny for his r and r and it was fun. I took him to Soho for diner the 1st night a museum the second day the for some Brooklyn pizza to finish up the night. His last night we went to see the world trade canter and Rockafella Center christmas tree. I wish could have done more but time wasn't on our side.

Steven's 1st piece of NY Pizza

Xmas in the city

Work has been crazy I took 2 days of 2 weeks ago and I'm still playing catch up. I hate that my desk looks like a mess. Especially when it was probably the best desk about a month ago. I need to fix it up by the weekend because with R and R coming up I can't leave anything unfinished.

Our R and R plans look promising, I really hope they happen. Everytime O and I came to ny on previous trip it seemed as though we had no time for us. This time it has to be different. It should be all about us. It's a must. We plan on going away to the Pocconos to a resort and doing things with our family to top of with a night in the city. I hope we have enough time to get it all done. I honestly just want to slp till this deployment is over. I'm getting anxious already. I have a clue when I want to move back to ft hood but who knows if its actually going to happen. I'm so tired of not sleeping and all the question I get. My parents are fed up with my dogs and I'm fed up with them. I hate living at home again. It has its pros and cons. More pros than cons but the cons a way crucial.

Its probly just another bump in the road but I'm sick of these speed bumps already. Your probably thinking its only month 5 but you don't know my mother. Well its time to get to work wish me a sucessfull day of organizing

Oooo ShUCks

Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Something I always get complemented on is my smile. People say I have pretty smile all the time. I think thats how I landed my husband. Or it could have been my ass, but my smile has been the reason why people approach me 1st. I also believe that your smile is probably your most important feature on your whole body. It's the one thing most people notice on you besides your average female parts. I hate when people have a bad smile, I feel like you don't care enough about themselves. Ones smile is the window to many opportunities never let it go to waste.

ByE ByE BYE

Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know.

There are few thing that I wish I didn't know and need to let go. But without these thing everything I know would be a lie and I wouldn't have learned what I know now. Trust is the only thing I question now, and how well you truly know someone will never be known. But as everything else in life you learn you grow you move on.

FaiR WelL FriEnd

Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

OooO POpPERs .

Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Well no one has intentionally made my life a living hell or has treated me like shit. I thing overall people take advantage of each other. Sometime you feel like your life is a living hell but in reality it just another bump in the road. Shit happens to learn to move on and from the experience it's self. There are people have made me more miserable than others and to them i say...

Diamonds

Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.

I have many people who make my life worth living. My mother and father gave me the knowledge to go on my daily adventure and not be scared of the world. My brother has protected me since the day I was born and still watches over me today. My baby cousins give me joy and happiness every time they smile. My best friend Lisa make sense of everything I can;t making me feel like I'm not crazy And my Husband makes the everyday challenges seem like just another second closer to the goal. O has made me wake up and smile and made me go to bed with no regret. He makes me excited about life and makes me want more. Everyone makes me feel like life is worth living. Because there is no living without a reason to live.

Kanye West - Lost In The World

CanT StOp WoNt StOp

Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.

Something I hope I never have to do is experience heart break again. I feel like my heart has been broken to the point it cant take no more. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I don't mean just relationship wise I mean in life. I am the biggest culprit of this to top it off. I continue to break my own hear by replaying and reliving my heartbreak. I hate that i cant kick the feeling as much as I want to. I hope this is the last time I have to go through such silly emotions. Heart break comes in so many shapes and sizes. I think I it's the scariest thing in life... not knowing what tomorrow might bring.

InSiDe Out

Recently I feel like I'm running on empty lately and my head keeps spinning all over the place. I'm lucky that its attached to my head, if not it would be long gone. I took the last few days off work because wasn't feeling to well, which left me with a disaster and a half on my desk. Plus everything else I've been dealing with since last month I'm lucky to have some sanity still left in me. I need to cal on my guardian angle to keep watching me because they are doing something right. With all that's going on the days are going by quick, quicker than expected. I only have several gifts for Christmas and hand full more to go. It seems as though its never going to get done. And who know what I'm going to get O for his birthday and holiday. It sucks that our birthdays are close to everything it doesn't give us a chance to breath. I stopped going to therapy. I tried to find a new one but once again I wasn't satisfied. I didn't even go in this time. I hope to go back to my therapist in Texas once I get back home. Ug home I miss that place. Who would have guessed but it do. I miss my freedom, I miss my space, I miss my husband. Home in my world means Husband.

Today I got great news, I have more action days than expected and full permission to take off the whole R&R rotation. I figured I would still go to work like 2 days of the week because ill die if my desk is a mess like it was this morning and to give Mr. some space. I think that's the only good thing that happened today. I stood at work till almost 7 trying to figure out the most ridiculous task but it made someones day so it was worth it. We decorated at work, but my desk isn't up to par with the rest. I'm so behind I could cry. I really do hate the holiday season, it's so depressing. I just cant wait till its over. I'm def dressing up as the Grinch. I'm just happy I have another 4 days off at the end of the month to work out extra hard... I have a very important event coming up and I better look better than the next girl. My FAT GIRL SLIM CREAM is working wonders and my problem areas and starting tomorrow I'm upping my diet and work outs to a whole new level. I need to stay focus on the goal.. .I keep saying this to myself so now I have to do it. WISH ME LUCK