Monday, August 30, 2010

In THe JunGle

So I packed up and put all my stuff in storage. The move did not go as smooth as i had hoped it would. The couch did not want to fit through the door and the weather did not hold up long enough to organize my storage unit. My whole life that I have made with my husband is literally in a box. I cried when I left it but I was alone so it was OK. After almost a week of packing my parents, my dogs and I got into my two cars and pulled off onto the road and didn't look back. the ride it's self sucked due to the fact my dad was following me. He drove slower than i expected and trucks always cut me off. I had the dogs in the car with me. Surprislingly they were better than i expected them to be. they prctically slept the whole time.
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my passenger didn't have their seat belt on
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We finally left Texas and got into Tennesse which took our whole 1st day of driving . By the time we got to Memphise it was time to stop for the night. But i wound up breaking my gps as we pulled into the hotel. The next morning we were welcomed to
followed by

followed by a few stops in P.A. , Jersey. and finally we got to Brooklyn it only took 2days and 2hours. We arrived at my house at 2am. Back to the jungle i went and now reality is sinking in =/

Monday, August 23, 2010

BOwls of SOup

"Always keeping in mind that everything passes so quickly. That way of thinking about your life like it’s something that’s gonna happen later sneaks up on you. Everything becomes today. Not later. Not tomorrow. Today". - A Good Friend

Today was another fun filled day worth of cleaning and packing .. I'm feeling a tad bit lazy i get motivated then sick to my stomach no where near done. My mother and father get in tomorrow to help so my mom the maniac will take over. I got a phone call last night and today from my <3>want to see his face "(. Todays phone call will be my last for a while which makes me very un-eased. More training is to come then the big stuff begins. I hope he never leaves Kuwait but that would me a fairy tale in the army world.

Well to get my mind off things and to take a huge brake I met up with some of my girls and their baby girls.
My good old friend Jen came in form Dallas to meet Karen and my self for lunch. Jen's baby girl Aubree is. getting so big I remember when she was 1st born.

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Right now Jen's husband is also deployed to Iraq out of FT. Steward and is doing very well.

Karen is an other army wife who's husband deployed with Omar on Sat. She brought miss Gaby along for some fun as well.
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We had an awesome time just catching up discussing the deployment and in the mist of it all Karen got a call from her man "). Its good to see my girls in good spirits and Jen made me more at ease with the deployment. The Manis family are already hitting the 2 month mark and it seems as though Chad just left yesterday.

Well after lunch I went back to pack some more and get the dogs so we can go see my best friend Sam. Shes another army wife. Sam recently just had a baby Kannon James who is Omar's God son and just a bundle of joy. I was excited to see the family photos they had done on sat. I've been so busy packing and getting myself ready for this deployment Mr. Reed seems as thought hes a little man already.

Sam also has a 2 year old son named Koy who when he wants to gives the best hugs ")

I thought these pictures were amazing so i had to share. They actually had the best deal in the world when they got these pics done. A local army wife dose pictures at almost no cost and as you can see these picture are just precious.

Well Sam and I talk for a while and had some wine in the yard as our children played.

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Koy Michael <3
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Harlem and Brooklyn ")

It seems as though everyone around me has kid right now with in a few years apart. Back home people who have kids at our ages would be looked at as thought they were crazy or not carefully enough to take responsibilities. In the army world its different you fall in love quick and grow up even faster. But as you can see these kids are amazing and I'm glad to have all these special people in my life. Till tomorrow ..

Sunday, August 22, 2010

One bOx tWo box 3 boXes oN the flOoR

Day two means time to leave .. all i did was pack today and all ill do tomorrow is clean .. even though I i just moved into this place the dogs have gotten to it =/. Puppies are not a carpets best friend but i'm actually glad its time to leave.

I don't like coming home and not having someone to jump on and talk to. I don't like not having my own place either. My Mommy is coming down with my Daddy and we are gunna drive back to god old Brooklyn.
The city life is what ill live for a while. Its going to be cool for like a day then reality will check back in. Ill be alone surrounded by millions of people. Go figure right ill be in a place where dreams are made and people long to experience and I wont know what to with me self mixed up in it all. At least i have my girls not just the ones at home but my Army wives. Not like the show but a real support system. Its hard to talk to the people back home about how i feel when they have no idea what it feels like.
Well let me get back to my boxes still no word form him today, but i've seen little thing here and there that they got to Kuwait ok. Till nest time ")

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Be Strong

Be strong be strong be strong every one keeps saying that but its easy to say it than to be it. no one can prepare themselves for this feeling I feel like my whole body is asleep and only his touch can wake it up.

This is our 2nd time doing it and I thought I could be strong but i broke down like a lil baby when time got closer . He's my absolute everything I couldn't see myself with anyone else. But with loving him comes this...

Which of course leads to me clinging on for dear life . I didn't wanna let go but I was torturing myself.

Now that leaves me here in an empty apartment with My two dogs i don't want to get up nor do I wanna clean but i must. I've been up since early haven't slept but 4 hours and I'm numb to the point i really cant move. But i must be strong they say. What dose being strong have to do with it? I'm just me an emotional person who has just gone through a life changing experience. I must collect my thoughts before i can be strong. I want my husband to walk though my door and say I was just punked before I can be strong. Now i wait till he calls I wait till he emails or chats with me online. I wait for 365 days 1 birthday Christmas and miss and miss another anniversary I wait till the fall comes winter falls spring rises and in the summer he will walk through that door, and when he dose ill be able to wake up again because as far as I can tell I will be in a long hibernation state till the day he's in my arms again.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

2 days to go =/

I haven't been able to post due to the fact that I've been making numerous changes. My love leave in 2 days so with that being said my emotions have been up and down. He left for block leave on the 31st of July and I met him in NYC on the 6th of Aug. My job at the time did not think t was important for me to have the 2 weeks with him go figure. We had some up and downs during block leave due to the fact of stress and the deployment lingering in our heads. But over all we had a blast. I had more fun on our road trip home with our two pups =] Harlem and Brooklyn. But went reality hit i made the decision to move back home and stay in NYC. I'm staying in an apt with a friend to save money and I GOT MY OLD JOB BACK!!! which was an amazing feeling but still bitter sweet. I was almost one for a year, but never forgotten I suppose. So now we just wait to wheels up and start our year apart. Im not doing so well though. I quit my job at the bank on Monday and have been home since. I think i should have stayed at least till today so i wouldn't think so much but what is done is done. Question is can i hold my tears back when he leaves. It's not only him but my boys too. I've grown to love these guys like family I wouldn't want anything to happen to any of them. I know they are quite capable of getting through this with all fingers and toes, but i still worry. My parents get in this tuesday so that gives me time to pack and clean. I refuse to pack before he leaves because I don't want that stress on him. I just hope we can make it though this and not look back. This might be our last deployment as of now. He is thinking of getting out at his original ETS date. Im just glad ill have an amazing support system including my girls in Ft. Hood... Thank god for people who feel exactly what I'm feeling. My family and friends don't understand how one feels when all you think about is his safety. Their selfish in a way but not on purpose.