2 days to go =/

I haven't been able to post due to the fact that I've been making numerous changes. My love leave in 2 days so with that being said my emotions have been up and down. He left for block leave on the 31st of July and I met him in NYC on the 6th of Aug. My job at the time did not think t was important for me to have the 2 weeks with him go figure. We had some up and downs during block leave due to the fact of stress and the deployment lingering in our heads. But over all we had a blast. I had more fun on our road trip home with our two pups =] Harlem and Brooklyn. But went reality hit i made the decision to move back home and stay in NYC. I'm staying in an apt with a friend to save money and I GOT MY OLD JOB BACK!!! which was an amazing feeling but still bitter sweet. I was almost one for a year, but never forgotten I suppose. So now we just wait to wheels up and start our year apart. Im not doing so well though. I quit my job at the bank on Monday and have been home since. I think i should have stayed at least till today so i wouldn't think so much but what is done is done. Question is can i hold my tears back when he leaves. It's not only him but my boys too. I've grown to love these guys like family I wouldn't want anything to happen to any of them. I know they are quite capable of getting through this with all fingers and toes, but i still worry. My parents get in this tuesday so that gives me time to pack and clean. I refuse to pack before he leaves because I don't want that stress on him. I just hope we can make it though this and not look back. This might be our last deployment as of now. He is thinking of getting out at his original ETS date. Im just glad ill have an amazing support system including my girls in Ft. Hood... Thank god for people who feel exactly what I'm feeling. My family and friends don't understand how one feels when all you think about is his safety. Their selfish in a way but not on purpose.