Be Strong

Be strong be strong be strong every one keeps saying that but its easy to say it than to be it. no one can prepare themselves for this feeling I feel like my whole body is asleep and only his touch can wake it up.

This is our 2nd time doing it and I thought I could be strong but i broke down like a lil baby when time got closer . He's my absolute everything I couldn't see myself with anyone else. But with loving him comes this...

Which of course leads to me clinging on for dear life . I didn't wanna let go but I was torturing myself.

Now that leaves me here in an empty apartment with My two dogs i don't want to get up nor do I wanna clean but i must. I've been up since early haven't slept but 4 hours and I'm numb to the point i really cant move. But i must be strong they say. What dose being strong have to do with it? I'm just me an emotional person who has just gone through a life changing experience. I must collect my thoughts before i can be strong. I want my husband to walk though my door and say I was just punked before I can be strong. Now i wait till he calls I wait till he emails or chats with me online. I wait for 365 days 1 birthday Christmas and miss and miss another anniversary I wait till the fall comes winter falls spring rises and in the summer he will walk through that door, and when he dose ill be able to wake up again because as far as I can tell I will be in a long hibernation state till the day he's in my arms again.