ByE ByE FeB

Finally this month is over. It was the longest shortest month in my whole life. I was completely taken back by the way I was acting towards the fact that Mr. is deployed. The first few months I can the way I was dealing better with it than now. After R&R I was definitely depressed and now all I want is to talk to him and think about moving back. I had some high and low points during this month and this week I can honestly say was my lowest point so far. I need to find a new hobby to take my mind of these next few months.

I recently started to paint my own nails. I usually go get a mani once a week. Im obsessed with nail polish but always refused to buy my own. Last week I painted my own nails at my little cousins house with OPI Black Onyx.

It didn't come out great but I did it again last night. This time I got better at it. I also bought a new top Chip free coat from Essie. I also picked up a liquid eye line. I probably watched at least 2 hours of YouTube videos on how to apply both. I want to be able to do my own manicure when I get back down south due to the fact its way more expensive to get them done. I don't understand how NY the fashion capital of the world and most expensive city in the USA has better prices for quick beauty fixes. I hope I get better at it. I ant to by every color is see lately but refuse to if I cant paint my own nails. It would be a complete waste.

The highlight of my weekend was packing Mr. a box. I was small filled with his favorite Little Debbie cakes and some drinks. I cant wait to make him his easter package. I went to Target as usual but there was no Easter stuff out yesterday . I was completely confused but I still have time I guess. THe rest of my Saturday was filled with hanging out with my little sister-in-law and my babies.

Today I will be downloading new music working out and learning how to do my eyeliner and reading my new book I just downloaded on my Kindle.

Happy Sunday

BliND

Ok well he hasn't called all day. I spoke to some of his buddies today but no call from him. I was having a fuck this deployment day from the second I woke up. I wrote him an email hoping to have a response by the time I got off the train from work. I got nothing. I got nothing at lunch and I got nothing tonight. I haven't gotten nothing in a while. I hate nothing, I cant stand nothing. I'm so fustrated with nothing. I know he's fine. If he wasn't I would know. I talked to his room-mate, his best friend and his 1st line. Theres nothing wrong. SO why hasn't he called. I know he needed to pay for the internet today. Did he forget. Did he work way beyond late and pass out when he got back to his room?

Ug really I just wanted a Hi.

That's all! I hate when i hear these girls at work just pick up the phone and call.

I want that back !

Miscellany Monday

1. Well, today I had off from work due to Presidents Day. The last federal holiday until my trip down south in May. I redid my blog and spoke to the hubby on Skype. He loves the new look ;) (He's my number one reader).

2. Started off my day with a nice egg white omelet and worked out to my favorite work out dvd.

3. As I finish up this post I'm getting ready to see the babies and go to see "Big Mama's House 3". A trip to the movies is defiantly needed due to the fact it snowed all morning .

4. My long holiday fun filled weekend hasn't ended yet. Ill let you girls know how the movies was tomorrow ;)

P.S. I reached 30 readers today. Thanks for tagging along <3

Words of Encouragement

"The Lord God is my strength, my personal bravery, my invincible army;

He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk and make progress upon my high places."

Habakkuk 3:19

OOOoo BiLly

Well, this weekend was filled with Vet visits... family shopping broken phones and finally some down time. Friday I did my usual trip to see the babies. Well, we all know they aren't babies anymore but they are my little cousins so I consider them babies. They completely ignored me due to the teenage ooo the world revolves around me, not you faze. I realize my god daughter isn't 10 years old anymore and she doesn't think I'm the coolest person around anymore. Now she has a boyfriend and is looking at colleges. She's going to be 17 in a few weeks and about to take her road test. The middle one who is about to enter High School has some love still lingering for me, but she's almost off the Kim band wagon as well, and as for the 3 year old, she just wants soda and video games and acts likes she 17 rather than a child who's about to be four. Even with no attention I still had fun debating with Gabby what her birthday party is going to be like and how much fun it's going to be.

Gabby's latest addition to her Gymboree collection.

My weekend continued with phone calls to my trusty cell phone carrier explaining my phone doesn't work even with the 20 trouble shooting exercises they preformed on it. They told me I need a new sim card, which I had no time to pick up, would fix the problem. I believed them and went phone-less for another 24 hours as I headed to the Vet with 3 dogs and 3 stressed out adults. I originally had an appointment for my little princess Brooklyn to see a Vet at the North Shore Animal League. North Shore is a no kill pound which also has a low cost Veterinarian clinic. I invited my cousin to tag along with her dog Jack (which she adopted from the North Shore) for his yearly visit as well. My parents decided it would be a good Idea to take my bigger dog Harlem as well on the trip to get the dogs done in one shot instead of taking them separately. I agreed against my better judgment and we embarked on a long hour drive with 3 dogs and my father mother and cousin in one van. The trip over was fine there was minimum barking and some wining but we all got there in one piece. Harlem and Brooklyn aren't use to other dogs due to the fact I made the mistake not socializing them with other dogs. I just don't have the time to take them to the park totally my fault. Harlem was the worst I have ever seen him. He barked at anything that came his way, snapped which he never dose, and was completely a mess when asking him do sit and stay seated. I was embarrassed by his reactions towards the visit. Brooklyn wanted to say hello by jumping on everyone and could not be near Harlem at all. Jack was the only clam one out of the bunch and I was probably the most stressed out of all the adults. Finally 3 hours later we got all the shots and visits done and we were on our way home. I completely regret not doing the things as a pet owner I needed to do. I might feed them the best food and treats buy them a ton of toys and taught them to sit and go in the cage, but there is so much more I need to do.Exhausted form the visit I was unable to attend a function that I was invited to go and completely disappointed about it. BUT I walked into a little surprise left by O.

My just because he loves my flowers <3>

Even 10000000 miles away he can make me feel better after a stressful day.

The card read "For ever single one that did't get there"

O bought me flowers almost every week when he was home.

So there were over 20 tulips to make up for the weeks I didn't get flowers.

Today was another fun filled day of shopping and fixing mixed with sister time. I was woken up with the question of driving to Target by my mother. Needing dog food and snacks for work I agreed to take a ride with her and my grandparents. The trip was OK until we arrived at the shopping center. My grandfather who is in pretty good shape for his age was the driver. I haven't driven with him in a while, but didn't expect him to steal peoples parking's and cut traffic off. He still has his old teenage habits. We got through an afternoon of trying to find Miss Gabby a new Wii system, which took several stores and keeping my spring chicken of a grandmother within site for most of the time. On our way out I decided to dived home so my Mother wouldn't have a heart attack.

Due to the fact I was still phone-less after the Target fiasco, I decided to call my trusty cell phone carrier for the no exaggeration, 8th time. Finally I was switched to Apple and they told me it was in fact the phone and not the service. I was told to go to an Apple store and they would replace the phone for free. CAN I SAY SCORE! The phone was a hand me down from my mother-in-law and was still under warranty. SO that was a plus. I got home from the Apple store and I was off to spend the night with my sister-in-law. We watched Titanic, which I can watch a million times and still cry and caught the FT. Hood extreme makeover show. During my time in Ft. Hood I couldn't stand it, but watching what I called home at a point on television made me miss it. I cant wait till I start moving back down to "THE GREAT PLACE" in a few months. I'm ready to go Home. It was a great display of bravery and what a true Army wife is. Not these girls who go out and spend their husbands money when they are deployed, but a strong individual who will stick by the man she loves through it all <3.

Lisa and Mikey <3

SO my jammed pack weekend is not over yet. Tomorrow is a lovely day off from work and also day one back to losing weight and getting ready for another Home Coming. Remember the banner I wrote about a few days back. Well, it got her and so did the anxiety and excitement of mr coming home. I made some arrangements for a friend from Ft. Hood to fly up for a visit and to drive back down with me for my first trip. Also there is discussion going on at the moments for Lisa to join me on the final drive down later in the summer. Two trips I'm definitely looking forward too ")

SunDay FunDay

Join Sunday Meet Up over at The Thrifty Military Wife.

Hope I get some new Blogs to read and some new readers myself.

More to come after I actually wake up.

A Piece of Harlem

My baby boy is all grown up :)

Valentines Day

Well, this Valentine's Day was filled with sniffles and staying home sick from work. I didn't feel so well this morning so I begged my mom to call out sick with me, and we stood home together. But on a brighter note my husband did receive his Valentines' Day themed package this morning. Here's a look at it before I sent it

It was filled with your average Valentine's chocolates, Pez dispense, lolly pops, boxers, a bunch of pictures we took over the years and lots more. I was excited to get a call at 4 0'clock this morning saying he got it just in time.

Tonight is going to be filled with alone time with my puppies and a nice book. My parents are going out for dinner and Daddy got mommy a nice pair of earrings. They make me smile.

Hope you ladies are enjoying your men if they are home ... and the ones who are like me with a deployed soldier next year will rock

I Would Die For That

O ShUChs

So this weekend was filled with family time and me time. On Friday I just hung out with my mom and watched TV and talked about our week. Its nice to relax after a long week at work. It's going to get interesting soon due to the act Megan got into research and we have a new assistant joining the team. I cant wait to see what happens next and what I'm going to have to deal with. But just a few more months of NY working and living left so I took advantage of this weekend to spend it with my two favorite little girls aka my sister-in-law and my little cousin. But before I got to spend an amazing afternoon with them I had to get a root canal redone. Now your probably thing ouch! We hell yea it was ouch! Turns out that when I originally got my root canal done they missed a nerve. Now this nerve has been caped for 2 year got infected and needed to be cleaned out and all patched up. After three hours of drilling and poking he finally finished up and I can honestly say I hope I never have to do that again. After a gruesome morning I finally picked up my little cousin form her house and we were off to O's house. We did our usual singing along to the words of the song and dancing around we finally got there and it was time for girl time. We went for tacos and then off to Melina's volleyball game. We finished off the night with making cookies and talking about good family memories we have of our own families. I think its great how they both get along. It feels good that I can blend both of my families together. They have made this deployment a lot easier.

Speaking about deployment look what I Ordered !!

I know its a little early but it takes over 8 weeks to get here so I wanted to make sure it got here before I started packing up. Another mil spouse found a website where they make the banners for free all you have to do is pay for the shipping. Defiantly something I couldn't pass up.

Today I picked up my antibiotics for my infection and some Motrin. Since I had to wait 45mins for it to be ready. I took the opportunity to go get my nails done. This my friends hasn't been done in a while so it was well deserved. Well, anyway its time to get ready for another work week aka another week closer till I have O in my arms again.

Drive = Passion

Its all about me !!

So I did some thinking and I never actually post anything about myself nor my personality.
So here are just some random facts about me.

I am a proud Army wife ( you already knew that)
I was Born in Brooklyn
I have a B.A. in English
I met my husband in college
I'm Hispanic but don't speak much Spanish ( I'm ashamed of that)
I like music but don't know words to any songs
I love to drive but never have a place to go
I hate calling people friends (I only have one)
I like to dance
I am apart of a sorority
I like to read almost anything but sci-fi
I'm afraid to fail it's not in my vocabulary
I don't remember being a kid ( I tend to block things out)
I hate to clean but I hate messes
I don't like people staring at me it makes me uncomfortable
I hate complements but like being praised for my good work.
I don't like when people are mean to me or don't like me
I hate buying clothes it makes me depressed
I start things but never finish them
I don't like being lied to
I don't forgive and forget I tend to hold grudges
I hate being left out or when I'm the last to know
I hate the cold
I love dogs and am allergic to cats
I don't know what I want to be when I grow up
I want to join the military but I'm married to it
I never got a middle name so I made one up

I am addicted to my phone and Facebook but have no reason to be

I like to know what people are thinking

I don't take negativity well

I don't like fried food

I love nachos and buffalo wings

Candy makes me sick but I love to eat it

I hate movie trivia

I like horror flicks but scare myself at night

I use to think I was a gansta and a punk rock kid in high school

I love to go on swings

I love to sit and smell the summer air at night

I love the sun but hate the beach

I don't know how to swim

I don't know how to do line dances

I love my job

I love the South

I don't like most people but am the friendliest person you'll meet

I think my husband is the best thing next to slice bread

Love is the hardest subject in life

I forget easily

I keep secrets to myself

I think I'm better than most people (But who doesn't)

I hate to lose and will kill to win

I think the world is black and white gray is just an excuse

I never settle

I don't like excuses but always have one

I hate when people expect me to know something

I don't like holding in my feelings

I have a lot of enemies in this world

I PRETEND to be shy

I don't like the Backstreet boys nor N*sync

I think GOD is LOVE

People don't take the chance to get to know me

I love Grey Anatomy, Glee, and Army wives

Im in book club

I love fountain soda!!

(New hair-do)

I probably sound conceded and mean but I'm just opinionated

Space crusader

So lately all I've been doing is staring into space, because I'm looking for answer and don't know where to get the. It has been taking a toll on my mentally and as well in my job and relationship. I'm searching for something that isn't out there, but is right in front of me. I have failed to notice the toll it's taking on everything around me. I'm am nit the only person feeling lonely, sad or depressed. I'm not in this bubble alone, but with my husband. Even with the distance I have failed to realize were in this together. I learned a valuable lesson with in the last two days. I have an addiction to pain and I put myself and set my self up for it. I have dawn on everything that has gone on in the past months not realizing that I'm not the only one who feel hopeless and helpless to the circumstances that we're in.

We're always left with the decisions that are base on the what if factor. What if I did this and that could this have happened or not. What if I wasn't so high strung and no let the little things get to me. What if I was able to so with my gut instinct instead of playing it safe. What if I ran 3 miles instead of one? I'll never know so why do I chose to stay stuck in the state of mind where I drive us both to breaking points of no return. I can't answer that nor will I ever be able. All I know is we have 6 more months left of this deployment and it's getting to the point where hairs are turning gray and falling out. But its 2 weeks till month 7 and now its time to buckle down where in it for the long haul right? For better for worse for until death do use part.

Now we have to make the important decisions like where were going to live and how we are going to get everything set up instead of what happened in the past. I keep saying it but what makes me not believe it?

I need help on moving on. Everything I have done so far hasn't helped.

I started reading George Bush's book Decisions Points. I am learning that all decision are not always the best one but once you've made one you have to run with it. Just embrace what you have chosen to do and there is always a way to pick yourself up from where you last left off, even where you left off is a breaking point. Nothing comes easy in life especially love. Love is the greatest battle one will face. But like the old saying goes LOVE can conquer all .

FliP Flop

I dont know what to blog about anymore .. I have a little case of writers block. so ill leave you with this.

She makes me smile :)